X'mas Thoughts

It's been awhile since I've posted something here, cos there's really nothing much to write. Today is x'mas day and for no reason the loneliness and emptiness within me has surfaced again. It just happens without fail every festive season.

Past 2 days I had a wonderful time pre-celebrating x'mas with my friends. On Sat, I went for movies, ktv, dinner and stayed a one night in a hotel with the "Amex Gang". The movie, Deathnote 2 was good, but was slightly disappointed with the ending. The hotel which cost only $99 was spacious and comfortable, with a nice bathroom (didn't get to use the bathtub though). We had our gift exchange "ceremony" there and made so much noise that the hotel manager had to knock on our door twice. Lucky we were disciplined enough to tone down. If not we might end up sleeping at the lobby! The next day I met up with my beloved "Ki Siao Gang" for a feast @ Dian Xiao Er and catched the show A Night @ The Museum. It was so hilarious that the whole theatre was bursting with laughter throughout the entire show. Although I did not go home to rest for 2 consecutive days, I was not at all tired.

After the movie, we headed home separately. I shared a cab Ric, Eve & bro. It was at that point of time those feeling of emptiness started to fill my mind. I remained quite throughout the journey. I had much thoughts on my way back home. My family, friends, job, upcoming studies... but most of my thoughts fell on Her.

It's been almost 2 months since we not kept in touch. She has not replied my sms, and I believe she must have blocked me in msn. I too have not contacted her since that D&D incident. The only channel through knowing each other's existence is via the mass e-mails that we've been sending out to our friends. I do not understand why the words I said that day had pissed her off that much. The only reason I could think of was the exam stress. As her exam was round e corner, I decided to leave her alone till her exam's over before I contact her again. But as days pass, I began to lose faith in my feelings for her. I questioned myself, what am I to her? Actually I had known the answer long ago. But I just refused to give up and held on to the belief that I would be able to touch her heart if I persevere... Gosh, that was naive of me. I should have known things don't work this way anymore, maybe at least for her. Guess she's the type of girl who knows clearly what she wants. If I'm not the one, no matter what I do, it will never happen. I'm still hanging the cross stitch keychain on my bag. Guess somewhere deep inside me, I'm still holding on. Let's see when am I gonna take it down....

Had wanted to write more, but guess I'll end here for now. For friends who has read until this point, I just want to say don't worry, I'm fine.

Keep in touch!!!